He seems to warm to the idea of being stuck on Barsoom when he notices that the princess appears pleasantly and more than adequately human in form, with a flawlessly posh English accent to boot. He falls in with the savage Tharks, spindly, four-armed and horned green Martians, but soon catches the eye of the princess of the red Martians (Lynn Collins). That's the most fun part of the movie, where he's trying to figure out exactly where the heck he is. On the run from Apaches, he encounters a mysterious cave and shoots a nasty baldie who, we find out later, is one of those Therns.īefore you know it, he's transported to Mars, known to its inhabitants as Barsoom, where he's able to make incredible low-gravity leaps and bounds. He plays Confederate veteran John Carter, a gold prospector out West with a Tragic Past Back Home. And a sizable part of the audience won't mind when he ditches his dowdy Earth clothes in favor of a fancy loincloth get-up.
BARSOOM 2.5 TV
With his scraggly beard in the beginning, he bears a little too much resemblance to those cavemen in the TV commercials a close shave by the Martian Tharks much improves that.
BARSOOM 2.5 MOVIE
Might be that, while star Taylor Kitsch has the requisite pecs and abs, and occasionally manages a winning, wry smile, he spends most of the movie as laid back as someone on the beach at Margaritaville. Might be the fact that there seems to be little at stake, and all the chaotic action scenes in the world can't persuade you otherwise. Might be the underwhelming sight of hundreds of CGI'ed Martian extras, more cartoonish and vaguely Jar Jar Binksian than threatening. Might be the rushing through endless amounts of exposition needed to make sense of any of it. There's something just a little bit off in almost every scene. It has its pleasures, and I liked that it never sinks into pomposity.īut it's remarkably consistent in barely missing the mark, each time. "John Carter" is the kind of movie you really want to like, a relatively straight-faced, earnest retelling of Edgar Rice Burroughs' pulp adventure, "The Princess of Mars" (better title, I think). Well, I got kind of lost around that point. That is, unless the predator city is able to … "John Carter" is certainly energetic and manages to be entertaining most of the time - how could it not be, what with the "white worm" of the title battling Tharks and Therns while flitting between Zadonga and Helium and romancing the bodacious and brilliant Martian princess, Dejah Thoris, who's this close to discovering the secret of the ninth ray.
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